Healthy self-respect or a shield?
I know, I know…But that’s who I am!
This sentence is often said during friendly discussions or during coaching sessions. This sentence is profound, it is based on an attitude.
The task of the coach or a good friend is to find out what is the patten which this sentence is based on. A healthy self-awareness or rather it is an excuse, an escape option.
Journey of Self-awareness
Following months of deep therapy and by completing various personality tests people are supported to identify their personality type and understand their operating mechanism. Fortunately, nowadays more and more people are investing long hours and lot of money in discovering why they are who they are today.
How their current values were formed, why they react more sensitively to some things and why they can overcome other things easily. What are the things they brought from home, what serious influences they had at school, in what terms their friends influence them, what they have learned about themselves in their relationships? What is grounded deeply into their personality and what are the values according to which they want to live their lives?
Self-awareness frees you up from many burdens. Therapy untangles the many mental tangles in the individual, so that he/she can unleash his/her-self and continue his/her life with a calmer mindset. There are processes and tools to get to know ourselves more deeply, to love and “embrace” who we are today. If this is the case, it is authentic to say: “I know who I am”, I am wired this way and I have done the reconciliation with myself.
But what if we are not OK with ourselves? If we know that we have anchors that hold us back from being proud of who we have become. We know that we do not yet live the life that fulfills us with peace. In that case, the phrase “but I’m like this!” is more of an excuse or an expression of fear.
The Excuse
It is an excuse if we know that we want to be a different person, but we do not make efforts as it is a too hard work. It would be a hell of a job to change, and we don’t feel the strength within ourselves to carry out this change.
The world puts lot of burdens and expectations on us anyway, let us enjoy the few things in which we find joy, don’t force us to work on ourselves too!
The Fear
There are other people from who this sentence means an expression of fear. They are not genuinely proud of themselves, they feel in some parts uncomplete, however they are afraid of change, because if they don’t succeed, they will disappoint themselves and others. The way they are now should be adequate. It would be painful to reveal that they are not enough smart, talented, beautiful, or skilled. There is no need to scratch infinity, since it would be very disappointing if it turned out that we are not capable of everything.
Unfortunately, today’s world enlarges this fear. Everywhere perfection is glorified. Have lots of money, a great look, high intelligence, a super speedy career, power over others, and fulfill many different social roles. If you can’t show excellent performance in one of the areas, just declare that you are like that, you don’t want to be better. Manifesting five out of ten expectations is enough, no need to care about the remaining five.
Conflicts and anxiety can arise when the fulfilled five roles does not bring real joy to the individual, does not make one satisfied with himself/herself, nevertheless one is afraid to take new paths, to try himself/herself in additional areas, because he/she is afraid to be called a looser.
– But that’s who I am!
– Great, I’m glad – but are you okay?
As a coach how can I help you deal with this problem?
We will discuss the areas which drained your batteries. By questions and coaching exercises, we will reveal if
- there is something missing from your life.
- you are anxious about something
- there is something makes you feel good
- there is anything you might need to let go, not force on yourself
- how you really want to live and what needs to be changed
Feel free to contact me!
To get in touch, please fill out the short customer data sheet below. I will respond to your message within 24 hours..
The first short, 30-minute session of our cooperation is FREE.
During this conversation, you will explain what is that you would like to change, improve and I will outline how I can help you with the burnout or your subject.
If you are satisfied with my service offer, we will agree on the details – for example: the regularity of our meetings, the location (ZOOM, Skype, personal), my occasional fee, the method of payment, your billing information.
During the additional 1.5-hour sessions, by using different coaching tools and techniques
- we look into the area of your life that you want to change
- we deeply understand and remove the obstacles standing in front of you
- we build a realistic, successful plan to maintain the change
